he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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