Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
