and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
