I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
