I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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