I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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