Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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