i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
