He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
