You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
