I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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