one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
