I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
home. puking in laundry basket.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
