No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
