He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
