Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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