at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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