I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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