Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize