I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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