When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
