everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
