There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
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