My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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