I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
