I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
