so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
