I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
