hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
