whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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