I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize