I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
