well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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