I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
