how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think your dad took our porno
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
