Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
