very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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