i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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