i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she pinky promised me she was 18
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
