hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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