I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize