so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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