is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize