we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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