Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
