And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
