he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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