You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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