he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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