Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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