Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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