You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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