So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
