I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
