so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
