Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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