I don't think brook has ever known best
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
accomplished twins. life is a go
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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