my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
