Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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