found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I could make wine with my vomit
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
