I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i dont even know how to be here
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Randomize
